My oldest daughter

Cute, isn't she?

Family trip to the Sears Photo Studio

My wife, Suzanne

My Jim Morrison stage - got laid in college from a girl who thought I looked like him, after bragging of how good I was in bed, I finished quicker than the harmonica solo in Roadhouse Blues!

Captain John

Got bulge?

Who said I wasn't Puerto Rican! Looks like I'm ready to steal a hub cap!

Nice bulge!

Bowl Cut(e)

My 1st band shot

Leather Shogun

Me with Ronnie James Dio, finally a celebrity shorter than me!

Mad Gay John

Gay John

I won 500 dollars at a halloween costume contest for this actual size replica of my member!

Get a load of that do!

My Sears outfit, can I help you with that toaster mam!